Selfie CV photos, the people who can’t spell and the chick who loses her bag at Hop Store… They should all be banned.
Here are the 10 yachties who shouldn’t be on Facebook:
1) The mum finding her little Jonnie a job
2) The Hop Store bag loser
3) The holier than thou’s
4) That fecking photo with the Fort
The most photographed background in Antibes. At least the cloud cover’s different every time?
5) The people who don’t hire South Africans
6) The South Africans who speak South African
This includes words like ‘shweeeet’, ‘boet’, ‘check you there bru’, ‘aweh’ and all sorts of other unprofessional nonsense. It’s okay if you don’t understand a single word. And please don’t judge. It’s probably their first time in Europe China.
7) The Desperados
Fake boat papers anyone?
8) The person who cant speell to safe there lives
I’m sorry. I’m a writing snob.
9) The stewardess posers
… Plus. It makes old, ugly stewardesses feel bad.
10) And whatever happened to the legendary Mick Blue?
11) Josh Wagner the wanker
Long after publishing this piece, I was reminded of an eleventh yachtie who shouldn’t be on Facebook. A guy so special, so heroic in his own mind, so obviously xenophobic and openly hateful, he deserved his own introduction to yachting’s hall of idiots.
Meet Josh Wagner the wanker.
No hurt intended. Next time you have a brain fart: don’t ask for photo-shopped certificates on Facebook. That’s all.
Thanks to my great mate Brandon for the hours of laughter putting this one together.