The truth about Swedes

A few Sunday evening observations about Swedes…

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  1. Herring is their biltong.
  2. In Sweden, “amaglug-glug” is “ama glögg glögg”.
  3. No one is fat. No one. But they have the highest number of McDonalds per capita in Europe.
  4. Some buses in Malmö run off gas from recycled food. In fact, 99% of all Swedish household waste is recycled.
  5. The road chevrons are yellow and blue. Not yellow and black. Skål.
  6. The girls are not all blonde. Or hot.
  7. Hot-water bottle? What’s a hot-water bottle?
  8. It’s a big, big deal when shit goes wrong.
  9. “Puss” means “kiss”.
  10. They sing songs before drinking Snaps.
  11. The roads don’t have cats’ eyes.
  12. On average, women in Stockholm have their first baby at age 37.
  13. Traffic is that thing that happens in movies.
  14. A hill isn’t a hill until it has a wind turbine on it.
  15. Their houses are so warm you can walk around naked in winter.
  16. You can drink in public.
  17. If the train timetable says 11h11, the train will collect you at 11h10. Being late is so not lagom.
  18. All cars have seat warmers.
  19. Swedes love dressing up. Spend a night at the theatre if you don’t believe me.
  20. Booze is readily unavailable.
  21. There was a viking whose feet touched the floor when he road his horse.
  22. Their houses are spotless.
  23. Their cars are filthy.
  24. Elks are real animals.
  25. Take your shoes off at the door.
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